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”“Does that include marrying off his daughter?”“No. He wants her to go into oceanography. She wants to go into academics. I’m trying to mediate. No wedding in sight. These are the most interesting people I have ever met.”“Your dad has been offered a promotion that will require us to move up north. You can’t live here by yourself and keep the house up.”“I can’t leave right now. Only four months until the end of the school year. Maybe I can stay with Dr. Frantz?”“I need to meet her mother. Can you arrange a lunch?”I did and they did. I guess ‘lunch’ at the country club lasted four hours.She returned home late. “You did not prepare me for her. After seeing her, I knew I had to go back to the gym. She is a wonderful friend or whatever.”Mother was beside herself with compliments and worries. “You liked her?”“As well as I could, considering she was taking my favorite son.” I saw a tear. “You will stay with them until school is out and then you will come live with us in Ohio?”“Maybe. If I. ”“Why can’t you use ours?”“Well ... I have this condition ... it requires me to take special salts when I go to the bathroom.”“Special salts? Can’t you take them here?”“I guess I could ... it’s just that...”“No arguments. Mi casa su casa.”“Really? Wow, I love this bar.”The new guy heads for the bar’s men’s room and after a few minutes he returns to his barstool, but before resuming the conversation he makes an announcement.“Thank you for welcoming me to this fine establishment I’ve not felt this welcome in a long time. Bartender, I would like to but a round for the house.”“You got it. Hey everybody. The new guy has bought a round for the house.”As the locals were dinking and chatting, the neighborhood drunk came staggering into the bar and wanders off to the men’s room. A few seconds later there is an ear-shattering scream and the drunk comes running out of the men’s room, runs to the bar, reaches over and grabs the bartender by the front of his shirt and screams in his face.“THE.
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